“People are constantly trying to influence us, to tell us what to do, and just as often, we tune them out, resisting their attempts at persuasion. There is a moment in our lives, however, when we all act differently – when we are in love. We fall under a kind of spell.”
Seduction is persuasion that bypasses your rational mind. If you seduce someone, you gain power over them. In fact, once seduced, people will give you power.
“Seducers are people who understand the tremendous power contained in such moments of surrender.”
Pay attention to what they want or want to be. Be that person or that person that can give them what they want. If you have to, play the role, and they will love you for it.
“Think of seduction as a world you enter, a world that is separate and distinct from the real world. The rules are different here; what works in daily life can have the opposite effect in seduction.”
To seduce, focus on your attention to them and not yourself. Manage and control every interaction.
“Flattery is seductive language in its purest form. Its purpose is not to express a truth or a real feeling, but only to create an effect on the recipient.”
To be seductive, make yourself stand out from the ordinary.
“To sow a seductive idea you will need to engage people’s imaginations, their fantasies, their deepest yearnings. What sets the wheels spinning is suggesting things that people want to hear – the possibility of pleasure, wealth, health, adventure.”
Don’t approach your target directly. Insinuate yourself and let the attention others pay you show your target how desirable you are. Develop a reputation that your target will hear about, so that other people’s validation of you reputation will help you appear to be the person your target wants to see. Be subtle. Maker them believe.
“You have deliberately created mystery and suspense to make the victim experience a real-life drama.”
Don’t try to be nice. Be intense. Invoke their emotions.
“These principles have application far beyond sexual seduction. To hold the attention of a broad public, to seduce them into thinking about you, you need to mix your signals.”
“Familiarity is the death of seduction. If the target knows everything about you, the relationship gains a level of comfort but loses the elements of fantasy and anxiety.”
In seduction, don’t go too fast or move too directly. You have to learn to take your time. Allow your target to slowly come into a state of desire.
“Everything in daily life is hurried and improvised, and you need to offer something different. By taking your time and respecting the seductive process you will not only break down the victim’s resistance, you will make them fall in love.”
Associate yourself with all things attractive: the divine, the forbidden, the ideal, lost childhood and so on. This will make you intensely attractive and desired by your target.
“What you are after as a seducer is the ability to move people in the direction you want them to go.”
April 1, 2004
Robert Greene is the author of the New York Times bestsellers The 48 Laws of Power, The Art of Seduction, The 33 Strategies of War, and The 50th Law. His highly anticipated fifth book, Mastery, examines the lives of great historical figures such as Charles Darwin, Mozart, Paul Graham and Henry Ford and distills the traits and universal ingredients that made them masters. In addition to having a strong following within the business world and a deep following in Washington, DC, Greene’s books are hailed by everyone from war historians to the biggest musicians in the industry (including Jay-Z and 50 Cent).
Greene attended U.C. Berkeley and the University of Wisconsin at Madison, where he received a degree in classical studies. He currently lives in Los Angeles.