Men and women in relationships share common complaints about the opposite sex.
Often, they misunderstand how the opposite sex wants to be loved.
When a woman shares her problems, she’s seeking empathy, not solutions.
When a woman feels she has been doing all the giving – and her partner, all the taking – she begins to feel resentful. Then, she often blames her partner for her despondency. Her bitterness may intensify over time, until it seems insurmountable.
The following three-step process can help rebuild the relationship:
“Motivation” – Feeling validated motivates a woman to work on the relationship. A man can give her validation by listening to her pain and frustration.
“Responsibility” – A man must accept accountability for letting his partner do all the work in the relationship. Conversely, a woman must take responsibility for neglecting to set boundaries.
“Practice” – Once a woman learns how to set limits, her partner must learn to respect them. This takes improved communication and practice.
A man views a woman’s attempts to improve him as rejection and interference.
Men deal with stress by withdrawing into their “caves,” while women reach out to others.
Men like to feel “needed,” whereas women want to be “cherished.”
Men and women have different communication styles, which cause misunderstandings.
In relationships, men get close and then pull back like rubber bands, and women rise and fall on the waves of their emotions.
Arguments damage a relationship. Communicating with love and respect strengthens it.
To diffuse arguments, use these strategies:
Accept responsibility for arguing.
Remove yourself from the argument and take a breather.
Analyze your approach and the language you use.
Consider if you are giving your partner what he or she needs.
Reconnect in a loving and respectful manner.
“The Love Letter Technique.” One of the best methods for communicating when feeling angry or frustrated is the “Love Letter Technique.” Sharing your Love Letter promotes intimacy, creates opportunities for support, motivates change and reopens the lines of communication. This technique has three parts:
“Write a Love Letter expressing your feelings of anger, sadness, fear, regret and love.”
“Write a Response Letter expressing what you want to hear from your partner.”
“Share your Love Letter and Response Letter with your partner.”