The top three issues that cause the most problems in marriages are “money, sex and kids,” although these are very different issues, there is only 4 ways to save your marriage.
4 Secrets to Save Your Marriage
- Learn how NOT to fight
- Know how to handle touch issues
- Follow the fair fighting guidelines
- Build a mature committed realationship
6 Ways How NOT To Fight. The Easiest Way to Save Your Marriage.
- Refuse to participate. It takes two to tango and to argue.
- If one issue rears up frequently, discuss how you made past decisions and what changes would work in the future.
- Strive to look at the problem from your spouse’s perspective.
- Seek a solution that works for your family’s unique situation.
- Ask people you trust how they resolved a similar situation.
- Communicate openly and honestly, and work together as partners, not adversaries.
6 Ways How To Handle Touchy Issues. The Most Effective Way To Save Your Marriage.
- Start every discussion positively, by acknowledging your efforts to work together.
- Take turns describing the problem and explaining your points of view.
- Brainstorm ideas. Include them all, no matter how far-fetched they might seem.
- Discuss and evaluate each viable option.
- If you reach an impasse, conduct additional research and seek outside advice.
- Reach an agreement, write it down and confirm that it meets your individual needs.
10 Fair Fighting Guidelines: For When You Cant Avoid Arguing. The Last Way to Save Your Marriage
- Concentrate on finding a solution, not on who is to blame.
- Leave prior incidents in the past and focus on the issue at hand. Stay on topic.
- Talk briefly and then give your partner the opportunity to respond.
- Practice active listening techniques.
- Stay connected by making eye contact, touching or holding hands.
- Express your anger calmly and keep it in check.
- Be respectful and acknowledge your spouse’s feelings. Do not mock or disregard them.
- Attack the problem, not the person.
- Delay the discussion if you are tired, hungry or tipsy.
- If you make a mistake, own up to it and take responsibility.
4 Things You NEED to Have a Mature, Committed Relationship. The Only Way to Save Your Marriage for the Long Haul.
- “Mutual love” – Love is the fuel of your commitment. When both partners feel loved and appreciated, the relationship will thrive.
- “Mutual trust” – Over time, each partner has many opportunities to build and renew trust. You build trust when your actions support your words and promises.
- “Mutual benefit” – Make decisions that are the best for the partnership. Couples benefit “emotionally, financially, mentally and spiritually” from their relationships.
- “Mutual support” – Support is most important during the hard times that inevitably occur. Support your partner and take responsibility for your own happiness.
Mutual “love, trust, benefit and support” are the cornerstones of a mature relationship. Then add a little humor.
- 7 Steps to Save My Marriage
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Tina B. Tessina, Ph.D. is a licensed psychotherapist. She has written 11 books, including The 10 Smartest Decisions a Woman Can Make Before 40 and The Real Thirteenth Step. Dr. Tessina, also known as “Dr. Romance,” has appeared on Larry King Live and Oprah.